Early Software
Abstract Web Studio
Scale Master

Funny and Stupid!

Everyone starts somewhere. I hit the ground running with no knowledge of any programming concepts, yet I created some weird stuff... Here are three of my earliest programs that range from crap to really funny!

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS (and finish the body)

Okay, here's a great plot for a great game! First, use your mouse and.... CLICK SOMEONE'S HEAD TO MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!! Then, CLICK THEIR BODY AND MAKE IT GO AWAY TOO!!!!

The only way to make a game like this better is if... you don't click anything, you STILL advance to the next level... and what's better than even THAT is.... IF YOU CLICK ON THE WRONG PERSON YOU LOSE!!!! (but if you wait about three seconds, you still can advance to the next level!)

On top of that, make it poorly written (that was already assumed though), and then take all remnants of fun out of it...

I had to collect some good heads to OFF WITH THEM, so I used Microsoft Encarta and sampled from old paintings of famous people.

I bet you want to see this trash!

Download Off With Their Heads (2.5 MB)

Probably the most hilarious thing about this "game" is that I was in the middle of making a sequel when I realized it was gay.



After there's a 1.0, there just might be a 2.0!!!! And, in this case, the improvements are nearly indistinguishable. The first version had all the same features and sound effects... So, there was basically no improvement at all in the new version... None.

I made this program as a joke... You choose a picture, and it applies some viagra, making the picture's dimensions thin and tall, then, you can... VIAGRALIZE it, adding a ball to each side, and curving off the top.... surely, you get it... and it's just so funny too!!!

Download Bob Dole's VIAGRASIZER 2.0 (2.6MB)



Again, another version change.... for what reason? I don't know! v1.1 is not different from 1.0, except for the font color and size is different. Good one!

Snoop Latin was my own creation after remarking at Snoop Dog's -izzle speech... It's the same thing as pig latin except instead of adding "ay" to the end of each word, you add "izzle"!

This program was another joke creation, mostly for my friends at the time... And the animation in it is just hot!

Unfortunately, this program has a bug that if you type in too much text (i don't even know the limit), it will just freeze. It does no damage to your computer, but it doesn't do anything else either...

Download Snoop Latin (1.5 MB)

Let me revise that bug report: it freezes most of the time. I remember it working, and if it works for you, awesome... but it probably won't. It might be worth downloading for the animation though...

Yep, wasn't that just hot!?