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Go America !

Who doesn't like America? Who doesn't like livin' in America? These were questions we needed to answer for ourselves, and who better to ask besides the American public? That seems like a valid, albeit poor, idea for a documentary, but our reasons for making this video were less pure.

The day before I created the Horror Example video, Joe and I were looking for American flag mugs at Wilson's (a five 'n' dime store). I was in the middle of writing Kirk Mannican's Liberty Mug, and I knew I needed a mug that oozed liberty. Also, I needed any other useful props I could find which bore that Holy Flag's visage. We poked around a while and eventually left with ONE Liberty Mug, ONE american flag lapel pin, and ONE, count 'em ONE, miniature american flag. And by leaving with them, I mean I bought them first. Okay.

Then, we went to Hollywood Video to pick up a video game to play (we ended up getting Hunter: The Reckoning, and that was no fun at all). On the way, Joe rolled down his window and stuck the miniature flag outside and started whispering, "Go America!" Over the course of a few minutes, Joe started to inform the rest of the street-utilizing population of America's new course... Going. Naturally, I thought this was pretty funny, so I volunteered to keep driving him around as he yelled. I tossed some new ideas, like "George Bush, Third Term!" But once the sky started to look like black coffee, he stopped his patriotic preachfest, and we played our video game (until we got to the first boss; he was too hard and we really didn't care about the game at all.)

Needless to say, given my desire to videotape every stupid thing I do, I wanted to capture this jackassery...

American Review


 

So the next day, Ehab, Jordan, and Joe all came over (YAY! FRIENDS!). We jammed on some Halo for a while, but eventually we realized that we had nothing to do... "Hey, let's go film that funny America stuff we done did yasterdee," I chimed. "Huh?," Ehab and Jordan inquisitated...

Ehab and Jordan sat in the back seat, Jordan with the camera. We drove around the same spots, this time videotaping. But we also decided to interview people. Our first target was the man who sells boiled peanuts near my house...

Me: Sir, can we interview you for a film we're doing about America?
P-nut: No, I don't want none of that.
Me: We're just going to ask you if you like America and stuff...
P-nut: A course I like America, (directing attention towards his peanut) they was growed in America wasn't they?
Me: Yeah...

No, I'm not making any of that up, and no, he wasn't filmed (damn!). Later participants were less reserved, and by less reserved I mean we didn't ask them. The camera was on the whole time. My favorite interview was with the "homeless" guy that wanted to go to Amsterdam.... hmmmm...

I took our hodgepodge video collage and edited it together that night. I attempted to make it flow and have a theme (America; it was difficult editing that theme into the video). But I did something unheard of! Far before even converting for my webste, I stuck it on Break.com. Jordan told me I could possibly earn some dolla$$ if they enjoyed it, but the response wasn't quite as hot as expected...

B_rocker7 said: "fuck him this kid needs to be shot in the knees like 12 & 1/2 time by a shot gun i hope some guy named bubba hits him in the head w/ a shovel"
ghostwriter said: "he does need to be shot first of all a president can only serve two terms dumass and second you should get a job stupid dick head"

Who's the dumass here? We had a supporter though...

voteforbob said: "wow lol he knew presidents serve 2 terms, it was a joke. hes proving bush supporters don't know shit."

And Jordan himself decided to praise his own work...

uph4m said: "One good camera man This video is funny. The camera man did an awesome job too considering they were in a car most of the time."

One good camera man indeed.